GPS Tracking Your Cat At Night

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Where DOES your cat go when he goes out at night? What does she do? It was quite a mystery until modern technology arrived in the form of the GPS (Global Positioning System) which lets us track Kitty all night long. As it turns out, they do all sorts of things at night. Secret things. Shocking things…
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Bowling

One of the findings that most surprised researchers was that up to 87% of cats start off their night bowling a few frames. It takes the edge off, y’know?
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Texting

It’s what YOU do at night. Why should your cat be any different?
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Getting Their Vegetables

Cats are ashamed to eat vegetables in front of humans. That’s why they eat theirs secretly, at night.
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Turn Chicks Into Cat Woman

First, find an unconscious hot chick lying in the street. Then, you and your buddies walk across her and say ‘Meow.’ When she wakes up, Boom! Catwoman. No, they don’t know why this works, either.
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Karaoke

Be glad you can’t hear this. Cats suck at Karaoke almost as bad as you think they would. It’s just not a voice for singing.
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Revenge!

Mitako had almost forgotten that bloody night at Shoju castle. His victim’s brother… had not!’
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Talkin’ Dirty On The Telephone

‘Yeh yeh I like it like that baby. You wearin’ panties? Yeh me neither! It’s how I roll baby…’
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Collecting

The due date starts at 12AM that day people! Kitties are up, and they don’t wanna hear about no ‘But the bank doesn’t open till 8!’ Shoulda thought of that yesterday!
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Kickin’ It

‘Can you move? Your fat ass is blocking the flatscreen. The WHOLE flatscreen. Hey, how much of my beer you drinkin’?’
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Stash The Take

Sure, cats can get bank accounts. They just don’t care for them.
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Add A Sex Scene To Your Screenplay

One day, you’ll wonder why your agent said, ‘This should work in the Furry Community” while reviewing your manuscript.
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Act All Innocent

‘Moi? No habla ingles!’
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